Title: Rising Again (3/3)

Author: RocketMan >lebontrager@iname.com<

Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully belong to CC, 1013, and Fox. No fringe is

intended.



SPOILERS::Written after Signs and Wonders--that's as far as it goes.



NOTES:: MSR, alternate reality, somewhat strange



=-=-=-=

Rising Again

=-=-=-=



"Though they go mad they shall be sane, 

though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;

though lovers be lost, love shall not,

and death shall have no dominion."

--Dylan Thomas



=-=-=-=

January 2005

=-=-=-=



The streets were just as busy as on the interstate, and she was stopped

at every single light. When they hit the third red light, Scully glanced

to Katie with a frustrated sigh.



"What do we say, Katie?" she said.



"Turn green!" Katie yelled explosively.



Just as the car hit the light, it switched from red to green and Scully

coasted through the intersection.



"Good job, my lucky girl," Scully said, smiling brightly.



Will leaned forward in his seat and peered at the tall buildings around

them. Some were decorated in the pillars and columns of the tourist

industry and some were the silent glass facades of the government.

Museums and monuments and men walking to their work.



"We can't get there too fast, Mommy," Will spoke up.



"What?"



"We can't get there too fast."



"You're right, Will. There's no way we're getting there quickly."



Scully took a left turn and was stopped at another light, despite the

insistence of Katie's that the light turn green. After a minute of

chanting 'turn green' by all three of them, the light changed and they

were moving towards the Hoover building.



"Mommy?"



"Yeah, honey?"



"What is that man doing?"



She glanced quickly to the right and saw the homeless man shaking his

hat at the passing government workers and businessmen. He had a thin

face with sundark skin and his fingers were gnarled with arthritis.



"He's homeless, and asking for money so he can eat, Katie."



"Is that what Daddy is doing?"



"No. Why do you think that?"



"Because Daddy is homeless. He's not here."



"Oh, Daddy's not homeless, sweetie. He's just gone away for work. I'm

sure he has a place to stay wherever he is."



"Why don't you know where he's working at?"



"Well, I think he's in Washington, but they move him around a lot."



"I think he's in Washington too."



"You do?" Scully asked, smiling to herself and wishing she had the faith

her little girl did.



"Yes," Will chimed in. "He's definitely in Washington."



"Well, all right then. Since you two know so well."



They were quiet and watching the streets go by on the window outside.

She wondered what was going on and why they seemed so turned in, so

thoughtful. She had been joking around with them, trying to draw them

out of their very quiet solemn selves. It was odd for Katie to be so

speculative, but normal for Will. 



This was the first time she had ever been asked so many questions about

Mulder, the first time she had found it difficult to answer their

interest. Never had Katie asked her if she loved Mulder, and never had

Will been so certain of the reality of his father. It was strange

because Will was the one who doubted and Katie was the one who was

intent on believing.



They parked in the underground lot and Scully made them hold her hands

while they walked from the car to the elevators. Katie tried to skip

ahead and dragged her mother forward, but Will dragged his feet and

pulled Scully in the other direction. 



"Will, keep walking, hon."



The boy looked up at her and shook his head. "I don't want to go."



Scully stopped in the middle of the lot, staring at him, then glanced to

Katie, who was anxious to go inside.



"What's going on, guys?"



Katie went very still and looked to her brother, but would not meet her

mother's eyes. Scully pulled them over to the side of the concrete

enclosure so they would not be in the way of cars and squatted down next

to them.



"Are you two okay?"



Will stuck out his lip and pushed into her arms, nearly knocking her

over with the force of his hug. His little face burrowed into her neck

and she rubbed his back, rocking him. Katie was leaning against another

car, frowning at her brother.



"What's the matter, baby?" Scully whispered.



He didn't answer but clung to her neck for a moment. She stood up,

taking him with her, cradling him against her chest and murmuring in his

ear. Katie grabbed on to her jacket and they walked to the elevators. By

the time the doors opened, Will was ready to get down and he slid to the

floor with a sigh.



Katie pushed the button for the lobby, where Scully had to sign them in

with visitor passes and mark down the floor they were going to. She also

thought she should call Skinner and explain why her twins were coming in

to work today. She would maybe need someone to take care of them for an

hour when she had an autopsy, but really, she was in the office all day. 



At the front desk the young man sitting behind it looked disapprovingly

at Scully when she sat Will and Katie on the counter to sign them in.

Scully ignored the look and let Katie play with the chain of the pen

that was bolted to the desk. Will was soaking in everything with his

very solemn eyes and she wondered for a panicked moment if he was going

to cry.



She pinned on the plastic Visitor ID to her kids and pulled them down

from the counter, then around to the house phones that were set into the

elevator bank. She was oblivious to the bustle of agents arriving at

work and their stares as they looked at the twins. Will was clutching

her suit jacket with one hand and watching Katie dash between the banks

of elevators.



"Sir?"



"Agent Scully?"



"I wanted to warn you."



"What's wrong?"



"Nothing, but I've got to bring the twins in with me."



"Oh. . .Agent Scully. . ."



"I know, Sir. It was last minute and my mother has to fly to San

Diego--"



"All right, all right, Agent Scully. Just don't let them wander around

the other floors."



Scully felt a bit affronted, but just murmured her thanks into the phone

and grabbed Will's hand.



"Katie, get over here."



The active little girl skipped back to her mother and took her hand,

then pushed the elevator call button. A group of agents had accumulated

and were watching with amused smiles as Katie jumped on her toes and

bounced in time with some tune in her head. Scully laid a hand on her

dark red hair and stilled her movements, hoping to keep the girl under

control.



The elevator chimed open and they filed on. Scully pulled the kids in

front of her and snaked her arms around them. It was mainly so that

Katie wouldn't bump into other agents. Her daughter grabbed the handle

of her briefcase and tugged.



"Let me carry it, Mommy."



Scully relinquished the bag and looped the strap over Katie's shoulder,

smiling. Will nudged his sister and rolled his eyes. The five other

agents on the elevator just smiled indulgently and continued to stare

straight ahead.



=-=-=-=

January 2000

=-=-=-=



The car trip from Washington State to Washington DC took seven days,

with frequent stops and plenty of rest--both wanted to take it easy.

Scully found that watching the scenery slip past the window was

mesmerizing and induced sleep, so she blinded her eyes to it and tried

to plan with Mulder. Plan--as if something like this could be planned

and ordered and understood.



They agreed to scale back the X-Files during their two years together so

that when Scully was on her own and Mulder was gone, she could still

keep the division open but not have to leave the twins very often. They

weren't sure how that would happen best, but he hinted at a consultation

position only, where they would simply fax reports and do autopsies and

profile. 



She was somewhat depressed by the thought of having both Mulder gone and

the X-Files reduced to an office job, but she held that back and rested

a hand against her belly, considering. She could feel nothing, only soft

skin and a tiny small scar where something had happened--she did not

want to know. There was no small bulge, no twinges of movement, and

these small things frightened her a little. 



Before deciding anything, she had thought out the entire idea logically.

What would happen if they lived, how her relationship to Mulder would

change, the moral or spiritual or physical implications of their birth.

She had not once considered what would happen if the twins did not make

it. She didn't want to think of it.



She wanted to ask Mulder if he loved her, but she didn't and she

couldn't. She knew that his love couldn't be a tangible or measurable

thing. She wasn't even sure it was for her either. There was feeling and

desire and devotion and a strong sense of right when it came to Mulder,

but maybe that was love in a strange, upset sort of way. It was enough.

It would be enough. They would only have two years.



Her mother met them at the apartment to congratulate them, her smile

like a sun that Scully needed desperately, needed that warmth and

comfort. Those hugs and smiles and kisses and hopes were soft and strong

things, and Scully wrapped herself in them tightly. Mulder did not

leave, instead sacked out on her couch after bringing up their

suitcases.



Scully was trying to find the courage or the understanding to explain

things to her mother; Mulder watched her moving in the kitchen with a

pointed look. Mrs. Scully had already caught on that there was something

more to this.



"Mom?"



Her mother nodded and sat next to Mulder on the couch, clutching her

hands together but praying mentally for the best.



"I. . .um. . .Well, I was. . ."



She licked her lips and frowned, wondering about this. Her mother would

know--her mother was crucial to making this all work out. She would need

her mother's help to raise the twins and still be able to work and

provide for them.



"You know about Emily, Mom. . .well, something like that has happened

again."



"Oh no. . ."



Mrs. Scully clapped a hand over her mouth and shook her head free of

tears, sighing very softly at her daughter.



"But they. . .they were growing these babies, Mom. Growing them in test

tubes like science experiments and. . .it wasn't working. Mulder found

them and I came after him and they offered to let me have the babies."



Her mother's face was frowning in confusion, her mouth open to speak

already, to question and have the answers perfectly revealed to her.



"Babies?"



"I took them, Mom. They're. . .they're in me."



"Dana!"



The shock was like a yelp from her lips and she half-stood, Scully

thought to leave, but instead she moved to her daughter's side and

hugged her fiercely.



"You're pregnant, then?"



"Yes. Two. . .a girl and a boy, but--"



"No. No, Dana. That's a beautiful thing--no matter how it happens.

You're going to have them, you're going to be able to do for them what

you couldn't do for Emily."



Scully nodded, but she was already feeling tears at the corner of her

eyes. Mulder was watching her carefully, perched on the edge of the

couch waiting for her to need him. She reached out her hand and he

leaned over to clutch it, squeezing tightly even as her mother hugged

her hard.



"Imagine that, Dana. Twins. That will be difficult for you two. . ."



"Mom, Mom, I have to tell you the rest. It's not going to be the two of

us."



The look of cold fury that flew from Mrs. Scully's eyes to Mulder's made

the couple cringe and Scully tugged on her mother's hand.



"It was part of the deal, Mom. Mulder has to go back in two years."



"Go back? No. Why?"



Mrs. Scully had sunk back to the couch, now looking at Mulder. He began

to explain the rest of it.



"They'll leave the twins alone, Mrs. Scully. If I go back for awhile,

they'll leave Scully and the twins alone. They'll never ask a thing from

us again. I just have to let them test on me, stay there and participate

and it will be okay."



"Will you be coming back?"



"Yes."



His voice carried such definite promise, such utter conviction, that

Scully felt it impossible to believe that Mulder would ever be gone.



"How long will it take?"



Scully's eyes met Mulder's and they passed a moment in silence,

communicating a certain knowledge of their fear.



"We don't know," Scully said softly.



"Why can't you just get away from these people, Dana? Why do you have to

agree to this?"



"Because it's all theirs. . .no. . .no, because they can do whatever

they want to us--they've proved that time and again. If we want to be

safe, truly beyond their reach, we have to deal with them."



To her surprise, her mother leaned over and gave Mulder an

all-encompassing hug, tight and with tears. He hugged her back and

smiled over her shoulder at Scully, trying to wink but managing only a

half-committed wince.



Mrs. Scully straightened up again and leaned back against the couch.

Seeing the shock still stealing across her mother's face, Scully didn't

think she could tell her about the nature of the twins' DNA--perhaps at

another time. When things weren't so charged with uncertainty.



=-=-=-=

January 2005

=-=-=-=



The hallway was long and tight, and the twins lagged behind her,

scuffing their feet on the tile with sighs. Scully had to turn around

and tell them to hurry up more than once, but they just didn't seem as

excited as before. Katie still struggled along with her briefcase,

holding it by the handle with both hands and a grimace, the bag banging

into her shins with each step. 



"Want me to take it, Kate?"



"No. I got it. You'll need your hands free."



Scully shrugged and stopped the little entourage so she could fish her

keys out of the front flap. Will was antsy, dancing back and forth on

his little feet as he glanced down the hallway. They still had to walk

down the short flight of stairs and then take the thirty odd steps to

the basement office.



"Do you need to go to the bathroom, Will?"



He glanced up at his mother, debating, then shook his head when Katie

elbowed him.



"You sure, sweetie?"



"I'm sure. We have to get going."



"Oh, honey. We're not in that much of a hurry. If you need to--"



"I'm fine, Mommy."



He sounded so exasperated that she had to hide a smile while she

retrieved her keys.



"All right. Here we are, let's go."



Will's hand fumbled for hers and held to her fingers tightly, not

dragging her back anymore but not entirely enthusiastic either. She

didn't understand why he was being so solemn and so clingy this

morning--he usually loved to explore new places and he had always begged

her to take him to her work.



Katie struggled along behind them and tripped a bit down the steps,

falling into her mother, who caught her arm and pulled her upright.



"Katie, let me take that while we go down the steps, and then you can

have it back."



The little girl looked peeved for a moment, but glanced down the rest of

the steps and shrugged the briefcase off her shoulder and over to her

mother. Scully grabbed it effortlessly and they trooped down the stairs,

a twin on each arm holding tightly. There were no railings. Their hands

slid down the sides of the staircase; Scully imagined she could see tiny

palm prints left there.



Katie skipped the last step and flashed a grin behind her, but Will was

already jumping over the last two steps and he gave her a triumphant

smile. Scully felt proud that Will had beat his sister; she always

seemed to be outdoing him. 



She ruffled his hair and tugged on Katie's pony tail to give her back

the briefcase. The girl accepted it with a grunt and moved off, striding

forward with a purposeful glint in her eyes. Will was on her heels,

pushing her faster with his fingertips at the small of her back as

Scully followed them. She wondered what the rush was.



They looked like little miniatures of her and Mulder.



=-=-=-=

January--March 2000

=-=-=-=



Winter was cold in her apartment, but they agreed that it was better

that she keep a place she knew well when Mulder would have to leave. So

he moved in within a matter of days, his stuff scattered about the

living room and bathroom and bedroom as he unpacked in spurts. Having

him near her so much was like having the sea at her back, a gentle

murmuring presence that caressed her when she came close.



It was a powerful thing, having the ocean in him, and it seduced and

mesmerized, but she always had the ability to step back to shore. To

back away from those waves and to refute the tides, but it was a power

that he seemed willing to allow her. They did not talk about much, only

the X-Files and the getting ready.



For two months, the twins steadily lost weight, no matter the days spent

in bed and the rest and the vitamins and the nutritious meals and the

worry. They were down to four ounces each when, suddenly, the baby girl

gained a pound. Mulder took her to dinner and smiled at her over their

meal like he was gazing into an eclipse and wanting to be blinded. A

week later the baby boy had gained seven ounces. He was still small, but

at least they were gaining weight.



The flowers outside her apartment where blooming with bright purples and

blues and pinks, and Mulder bought her lilies and sunflowers and daisies

while the weather warmed. He liked watching her bend over to smell them,

sniff at the petals with her closed eyes. The brilliant flush of her

cheeks paired with the deep yellow of the daisies was like a perfect

painting, and he smiled at her as she moved carefully around the

apartment.



There was a small roundness to her stomach, although it was not

perfectly round at all, and it seemed lumpy and awkward to her. Mulder

would occasionally place a hand to her belly, wanting to feel the babies

kick, but they didn't move for him. She learned quickly that a pregnant

woman's stomach was known as public property--everyone touched and

smiled. She welcomed only Mulder's touch.



He wanted to sit for hours with her, watching television or listening to

music or reading aloud, and he directed parts of their conversation to

the twins, smiling as Scully laughed at him. He was afraid that after

two years, they would not know their father, and he wanted to imprint

the sound of his voice upon their subconscious.



Scully fell asleep a lot, mainly during that time on the couch, her

mouth open and her entire body so slack and relaxed that Mulder did not

dare move her, only stretched her out alongside him so that her back

would be supported and her head cradled in the crook of his arm. The

spring breezes cooled her flush of heat or passion or love, whatever it

happened to be, and she would wake to him seducing her skin with

touches. They made love while they could, and soon the X-Files and work

were phasing out of their lives.



He only had two years--the thought tainted everything. It touched the

core of them when Scully was so completely satiated in him that she

could not feel anything, and then she would know that she would not have

this feeling in two years. It seeped into the conversation and hung on

their skin like the pallor of death--she wanted to brush it away like

cobwebs but it was elusive.



At the end of March, Mulder picked out names for the babies--a gift from

Scully to him, letting him have that honor. She wanted to say the twins'

names and know that their father had wanted them, had carefully picked

them out.



"Katherine Elizabeth and William Mason."



He sounded so firm and convinced. She smiled.



"Our middle names?"



"They're us, Scully. Not only us, but ours. I think I want you to have

something of me in both of them. I don't want you to forget."



She shook her head and fought the tears. "I couldn't possibly forget. I

couldn't."



"Please don't," he whispered, and that had been the last they talked of

his leaving. It just stained too much to speak of it.



=-=-=-=

January 2005

=-=-=-=



When they arrived at the door, she had to jiggle the lock to make it

turn and then jiggle it again to retrieve her key. She pushed opened the

door and moved inside, glancing down at Katie and Will as they were

eagerly pushing forward.



"Okay, twins, let's try not to mess up Mommy's filing-"



Her heart stopped.



Breath in the room was echoed back by the full presence of him.



"Mulder?"



She blinked and then she was being crushed against his body, hard and

thin, and her lips were being sucked dry and her tears were falling

gently like rain and grace against his cheeks. He was holding her so

tightly that she didn't want to make the room to breathe and his kisses

were bathing her face even as her tears washed them clean. 



He murmured her name over and over and over, a mantra against darkness,

and she knew he had used that sound, the sound of her name, to pull him

through three years of nothing. He was aroused against her and his

fingers trembled on their journey through her hair and her eyes were

shut against the glory of him. She wanted to collapse right down into

him and never move. Drown in the mesmerizing, seducing ocean of him.



She had been so long without the sea.



A tiny hand against the back of her knee, and then a face being buried

into her legs made her pause and breathe again. Mulder's lips pulled

away for a moment and she whimpered at the space between them again, but

buried her own head into Mulder's chest.



"The twins," he whispered, and she did not know whether he was reminding

her of them or asking about them or reminding himself why he had gone

away for so long.



She disentangled her aching body from him and reached around to grasp

the arms that were tight around her legs.



"Will, Kates, come here," she whispered, with such soft fondness that

she was surprised even.



Katie slipped around to stare up at her father, her eyes somewhere in

the range of frightened and awed. She twisted her hands together and

glanced back at her mother, then to Mulder again.



"You're very very tall," she whispered.



Mulder grinned and squatted down next to her, watching her eyes track

his body as he moved beside her.



"How's that, Katie Beth?"



Her face glowed and she nodded very carefully, then stepped into his

space, her hands planted on his knees as she looked at his face. She was

paying great attention to the details of his face.



"Are you staying?"



"Yes. Forever."



She relaxed and threw her arms around his neck, throwing Mulder off

balance so that they tumbled to the floor. Will giggled behind Scully

and moved around to see his sister and father better. He kept one hand

tightly clutching his mother's jacket and peered intently on the

laughter of the others.



Scully bent down to his ear and whispered, "Are you okay, sweetie?"



Will nodded and Mulder happened to glance up at them at that moment, and

his eyes softened and grew gentle with tears and joy. The picture of

Scully whispering to his son, her motherly hand on his head, nudging him

forward--



"Come here, son," Mulder said, making sure to keep his voice proud but

not commanding.



Will moved over to where Mulder was holding Katie to him, and stood

there, as if ready for inspection. Scully prayed his father would say

the right thing, the thing that would keep Will from feeling stiff and

formal around him. Some things made Will anxious. . .so much of Mulder

in that mindset.



"I'm proud of you, Will."



That melted the ice of fear and the boy was burying himself into his

father's chest, having an arm wrapped tightly around him and being

pulled up next to his sister. Mulder stood up with both of them in his

arms, shaky and weak as he was, and moved to sit in the office chair,

behind his old desk. The twins sat on either knee.



Scully came to sit on the desk, the joy so bursting in her heart that

she couldn't help but lean over and hug them all, kissing Mulder's

forehead firmly.



"I missed you," she whispered into his ear and closed her eyes.



He glanced up at her and cupped her face in his hands, shaking still.



"I love you, Dana Scully."



She grinned and blushed, realizing that they had never said it. They had

never said it.



"I told you Daddy was in Washington," Katie said loudly, rolling her

eyes.



Scully laughed at Mulder's blank, confused expression and nodded her

head.



"You sure did. You guys knew all along," she said.



Will gave a proud look to his father and nodded. "We knew."



Mulder seemed unable to comprehend Scully's easy acceptance, nor the

twins unexplored and largely untapped abilities. Scully asked no

questions, the twins had no answer, only sometimes these insights.



"Mulder?"



She grinned again at being able to say his name, and watched his head

turn to face her, his eyes lighting again. She reached out and stroked

her fingers over his cheek, then along his lips, sighing.



"I love you too," she said and her face was filled with the slow flush

of realization, of new love and old promises.



=-=-=-=

September 2000

=-=-=-=



The twins were two weeks early and arrived into their parents' lives

with quietness, a small cry of something like acceptance or relief, and

the closed eyes of newborns. They squirmed in their bassinets and

breathed softly in and out, murmuring when fed. 



Mulder's hand was the whole length of William, and Katherine was only a

few lengths longer than that, with her thatch of blonde red hair and

perfectly rounded cheeks. Will's face was long and thinner, with dark

raven hair that had a streak of light brown near the front. Mulder

brought his baby pictures from his mother's and they marveled over the

similarities between them.



Mrs. Scully walked Katie up and down the hall with her fits and then

went home to prepare the apartment, put on fresh sheets for the cribs

and collect the stuffed animals. The twins had a lot of attention,

visitors ranging from Skinner to the Lone Gunmen to the secretaries in

the front office that considered Mulder's being a father as something of

a cosmic joke.



The twins were in the hospital longer than the required 48 hours, on

account of their early delivery, but Scully was released on a Friday.

Mulder drove her home to sleep, then came back to the hospital to hold

his babies. He whispered to them about the world and about love and

Scully. He confessed things to them that he had not told their mother.



Mrs. Scully drove her daughter back to the hospital when she woke to the

empty apartment and left after seeing her to the nursery. It was done in

pale blues and greens, with the light smiles of happy faces on teddy

bears dancing around the room.



The babies were put down for bed already, and Scully and Mulder stood in

the dim light of the nursery, watching Katie turn over in her sleep,

Will yawn as he rolled his head. Their tiny fingers were in fists and

covered with their sleeves to keep them from scratching themselves. They

had on blue and pink and they seemed to be sleeping facing each other.



Mulder's hands moved from the glass window and snaked around her waist,

fingers soft on her skin as she sighed.



"How beautiful," she whispered.



Mulder laid his chin on top of hers and kissed her hair.



"I will be back, Scully. I promise you. I promise the twins."

=-=-=-=



end

adios

RM